We’ve all done it. You get pushed to your limits and then you start to mentally spiral out of control. Let’s talk about how to stop that before it starts…

I’ve have a lot on my plate as of late and continual speed bumps during a renovation at my rental property have amplified this. I find myself spitting out my trigger word a lot lately.

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Show Transcription:

00:00     Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of RentPrep for landlords. This is episode number 264. And in today’s episode we are going to be talking about land lord trigger words. So might not be what you think. And as far as the normal connotation of, you know, when you get triggered, uh, but, uh, we’re going to be talking about how to be more aware of yourself and stuff. I’m kind of learning as I’m going through a renovation projects. So we’ll get back to that right after this.

00:26    1,2,3,4 ya ya ya…. Welcome to the RentPrep for landlords podcast. And now your host, Steven White and Eric Worral..

00:43    So normally as an individual, if you’re somebody who’s triggered right there, the really flared up there, they’re losing their temper, they’re going nuts. They’re, uh, you know, their faces all red. They’re throwing stuff. That’s what I think of, at least when I hear the word triggered.

00:52   Uh, but, uh, what I wanted to talk about today are the trigger words that you have as an individual. So for me, I became aware of these. I went through a, um, a business consultation process a few years back and that was one of the things we were talking about is what your trigger words are serious company called als consulting. Terrible name for a company. But, uh, they had some interesting stuff that they were doing. And the, one of the things I realized is I have my own triggers and it sees little words that you say to yourself or say out loud that when you hear them, you know that your mindset’s going in a certain place. So I’ll give you a little bit of backstory for me on why my trigger word came out over the last week. I’ve, you’ve listened to previous episodes is really excited because I’m working with a contractor, really trying to pull myself out of the business, be able to focus on other stuff, whether that be family or rentprep or you know, just enjoying my free time.

01:49    And uh, that was going pretty well out of the, out of the gates, but then started running into a lot of issues with the, uh, this particular situation.Just a nothing, you know, not necessarily anyone’s fault, but just, the situation just kind of played out like this. So here it is hired the guy, he came in, I gave me a quote for doing a kitchen renovation, also painting a couple rooms and doing some plaster work and uh, you know, is a pretty good, a good amount of work. But he said he could get it done by the following Wednesday, which would have been yesterday if you’re listening to this on the day that this publish, actually a week ago from yesterday and he started running into some issues and this happens, right? You got a, you’re working on some old pipes and there is sediment in the pipes.

02:33   So the banging around in the pipes created the issues or, uh, the, uh, life stuff popped up for him. He ended up getting a full time job offer in the middle of this, uh, told me that he wouldn’t be able to work on the property for 10 days. And here I’m thinking like, okay, I got, you know, I have got to figure out how I’m gonna get this rental property turned around. I didn’t plan on doing the work myself. I’m also had some issues with noise complaints from tenants upstairs. Very justifiably. So. He was working really early on the property and just kind of these headaches. And I go over there to look at the property, um, real early in the morning before work one morning. And, there’s a big crack in the brand new counter, uh, not real expensive counters, you know, those prefabricated ones at home depot, they’re like 150 bucks for 10 foot piece.

03:16     Kind of looks like marble, but it’s just a wooden laminate. There is a big crack. And he’s like, oh, you can just like put caulk over that. And I’m like, you can’t put cock, you cannot put caulk over a marbled looking counter. Like it’s going to stick out like a sore thumb. And then, uh, the kitchen faucet is backed up. It’s a brand new faucet. It’s not, there’s no water pressure because it’s got sediment from the lines. Um, he was running power tools and four in the morning, like scared the tenant upstairs. I’m realizing I probably shouldn’t have given him a key to come over there and just work whenever you wanted. But I mean I always also trusting that he wouldn’t run power tools at four in the morning. And then on top of that, there was some issues with the way that the, um, the dishwasher was a connected up to the electrical, uh, and just all these issues that are kind of, we are starting to pop up and I was helping out getting supplies there and like gettin the cabinets there.

04:13    And one of the things I noticed is that every single time that I’m moving these cabinets in and out of the truck or I’m bringing supplies over, it has been raining like crazy in buffalo for the last like 45 days. Somebody told me it was something like 41 out of 45 days there was rain or something like that. But it is just been pouring buckets. It seems like every time I go to home depot and I’m getting supplies and putting them into the rental property and then I’m just running into all these issues at the rental property, crack counter power tools at 4:00 AM dishwasher’s not hooked up correctly. There’s a dent on the fridge that was delivered. You know, just issue after issue after issue. And then my trigger word comes out of course. So that’s my trigger word, right? Not Real violent, not really something that somebody would even pick up on in conversation, but it’s that trigger word that I’ve identified for myself where my mindset, my mental makeup starts to deteriorate.

05:11    And it’s that like victim hood kind of mindset of just being like, oh, of course it’s raining out right now. Of course the counter top is cracked. Of course the pipes were set up wrong and it’s the cold supply going into the dishwasher instead of the hot water supply. Of course, you know, this issue is happening and I hate that mindset. Like it’s horrible. It’s, there’s no development that really occurs with that. Of course mindset, you know, the, the of course really is just a trigger word for victim hood. I’m playing the part of the victim in these scenarios and it’s not one thing, right? It’s not like the rain is the thing that set me off or the counter top or the dishwasher, the power tools, the contractor having to essentially stop working and I had to step in and luckily my parents are super nice people who are incredibly handy.

06:08   Like, I know this, this might sound like a sexist statement, but, um, my mother is more handy than 99% of anybody I know. It doesn’t matter. Male, female, like she knows this stuff in and out of my father’s even handier than she is. So, I’m blessed in that way that they were able to come in and give me a hand because they know how to do like hanging cabinets and do all this stuff that I don’t know how to do. And uh, uh, they stepped up big time to give me a hand. But before that is just like I’m doing that mental spiral downwards of just, of course, of course, of course. And then it’s just this exasperated thought process and it’s really hard to get out of that. Right? You can probably even hear it in my voice if you’re listening to these, a lot of, a lot of these podcasts, I’m a little tired right now and just because I’ve a had a lot of work going on with the rental property, um, but being able to identify your trigger word and there’s a good chance it’s not a course for you, maybe hit something else.

07:08   Pavey it’s something that’s, you know, not PG 13 or, I mean, I guess of course it’s probably rated g right? But being able to identify those trigger words kind of gives you an idea of like when you hear them and if you can train yourself to hear him, that you’re like, okay, my mind is doing that spiral thing that it does. It’s about to get onto that, you know, treadmill of just being like, woe is me. Or frustrated or upset. And, this book that I’ve been listening to lately, I just finished it up. I think the author’s name is Dan Harris’, 10% happier. He is a, news correspondent, for Nightline. But he wrote this book on like, you know, his process on like being able to tame the voice in his head. And one of the things he talked about was worry and he’s like, he’s trying to tame worry, anxiety, overwhelm and those types of feelings.

08:01    And he said what he does is he will allow worry to happen up to the point that is no longer useful. So that’s kind of like something that I’ve been working on as far as like this rental property. I’m like worried is it going to get done in time, right. Because if it’s going to go a little bit too long, then I’m not going to have rents coming in next month because I won’t be able to have enough time to get a good quality tenant in. And I’m just worrying about it and worrying about it and thinking about it and thinking about it and really want to be able to take a step back and realize like, all right, I’m kind of going into this like mental spiral of getting into this victim hood of course, mindset and then also um, worrying about things beyond the point that it’s useful because I can think about it a few times and be like, okay, if this a renovation doesn’t get done by this date, I’m not gonna have enough time to turn this around and get a quality tenant in and get runs flowing in in July.

09:02    What does that actually mean? Well, it means that I’m on to be out some income, but we also know that there are tenants that are looking for a place to live that are willing to move in a, you know, a week after the first or two weeks after the first and then I’ll have to finish, figure out the prorating of that and figure out how that goes. Or worst case scenario, I’m probably looking August 1st looking at my finances. I’m not that tight where, you know, if August 1st, rolls around that I’m not going to be all the pay a mortgage or anything like that. And then looking at, you know, the grand scheme of things that one month of rent is not going to like make or break me for a month, a year or a lifetime or anything. But it’s so hard to keep that in mind when you’re in the thick of it.

09:48    Right? And then he just got all this stuff come in and piling and piling and piling and you feel so overwhelmed or anxious or worried or whatever those emotions might be.If you’re somebody who is kind of got an overactive mind, like I do a where you’re constantly thinking through scenarios and thinking about how to approach things and how are we going to get through this. And you know, what’s the best way to kind of think through this issue or this situation? I would definitely recommend a Dan Harris’s book, 10% happier about how to tame the voice in your head. I’ve found that to be pretty helpful. And then I’ve been reading some other books, uh, following up on that. But I’d also just be aware of your trigger words. You may not know what they are. Your partner might know what they are.

10:34   A family member might know what they are. They are like, Hey, is there anything that I say or do that you’re just like, oh, you know, he or she, they’re, they’re pretty annoyed or they’re pretty upset right now. Is there anything I say or any kind of mannerisms or anything like that? Because I think if you can identify that about yourself, it kind of creates atleast this trip wire of sorts where then all of a sudden you’re like, oh, I just heard myself say, of course, or Dang nabbit or you know, whatever it is for you, uh, feel ridiculous. And I said, Dang. Nabbit uh, if that’s your, your, your flared up trigger word, good for you. You know, you’re, you’re, you’re a solid person. But, yeah, I think if you can be aware of those words, um, where those mannerisms, those, those thought processes, it gives you the chance to identify it, to become self aware, to be able to say, all right, this mental spiral that I’m going down right now, is this useful?

11:30   Is this being useful right now? And if it is, you know, maybe you can think through a few things, but then try and cut it off at the pass at the point that no longer is useful and then be able to redirect that energy towards something that is. And maybe that’s even just, you know, taking a break. Uh, I know that I enjoyed father’s day. I went to a movie, saw, a vendor’s end game. I think I’m probably pretty late to the party on that one. I was also pretty confused because I’m only seeing a couple of those. So, um, but I was like, wow, I haven’t seen a movie in like two years just because I’ve been so focused on work and you know, getting things done and being able to take that time to just kind of reset. And let your mind just do something different and just be for a moment.

12:12   So, but yeah, uh, I don’t know. That’s a, that’s the gist of this podcast and just wanting to, talk about landlord trigger words. If you’re, especially if you’re a DIY landlord or you are managing these properties yourself, you’re going to, you’re going to get in the thick of it. At some point you’re going to have a tenant that’s tricky or, or renovation project that doesn’t go well or else and a new tax, you know, Bill, that’s a completely different from what it was before and you’re like, is this property even viable? Uh, being able to identify those landlord trigger words and being able to pull yourself out of the situation and then put yourself back into the situation but with a different direction, I think is so helpful. So, yeah, I be interested to hear what your guys’ thoughts are on this. If you have any trigger words, feel free to email me, eric@rent-prep. I’m sure it’ll give me a good laugh. And, looking forward to figuring out this renovation project in a closed up, actually, hopefully this Thursday, uh, taking another day off. I love using my PTO to do renovation projects. Let me tell you, that’s a fantastic feeling, but I’m going to get through it, going to get this project wrapped up and doing it for the right reasons. So yeah, guys, until next week, look forward to hearing from you and to have a great rest of your week. All right. Take care.